Day 5. Today’s top tips.
Day 2. I’ve been gathering information from some psychologist colleagues so that I can offer some top tips from the experts for controlling anxious thoughts and feelings.
Day 1 in lockdown! How’s your day been? It’s all a bit strange isn’t it? Perhaps you’ve had mixed emotions and I guess I’ve had them too today. It’s perfectly natural under these extraordinary circumstances. I decided that I would post the positives of the day, because it helps us to focus on them 😊
Despite the huge impact on my business, I secured a new client today and we are going to work online to resolve anxiety problems.
I did my Boris approved daily exercise and walked 5 miles while social distancing.
I enjoyed the peace and quiet – no traffic and lots of birdsong.
I created a new piece of art this afternoon.
I learned a new skill – working out how to send an online test to a client, get it completed and automatically sent back to me.
It was a sunny day and I tidied up the Spring flowering plants in the back garden.
OK – over to you. What positives have you noticed today?
#lockdownday1 #thinkpositive #mindmakeover #York #anxiety
Walking in the Lake District this week I came across lots of well worn paths like this. Everyone following the clearest, strongest path.
It reminded me that our behaviour is like this. We repeat patterns and our brains eventually respond habitually, following the strongest neural pathway. In this way behaviour is reinforced. When we decide to change habitual behaviour it can feel strange or uncomfortable as we wander away from the well worn path and try something new. Sometimes it feels impossible to change.
My work focuses on helping you find healthier paths that lead you where you want to go. Together we reinforce these new pathways so they become stronger. In this way, your desired behaviour feels natural and effortless. So what would you like to change about the way you think, feel or behave? Ready to find a better path? Contact me to find out how I can help you.
Overworked and stressed already?
Perhaps you are juggling a working life with a family life, or perhaps you feel like there’s just not enough hours in a day?
The Christmas period seems to start earlier every year – looking around the town and online it is already upon us and it’s still only November! Even with a few weeks to go, do you feel stressed or even overwhelmed with how much you have to do?
If you have a look around on the internet you’ll find lots of people offering to coach you through this – they even pop up on Facebook ads now so there is no escape. It just goes to show what a problem it is for people – spawning all these new businesses! So with all the stuff that’s out there – usually pretty basic stuff too – what advice can I, as a Psychologist, pass on?
First of all, recognise that you have an issue with constant busyness and that it leads to inevitable overwhelm. How many of these ‘busyness’ behaviours do you recognise?
- Multitasking – “I am listening to you, I’m just quickly replying to this email/message/doing something else”
- Time Management – “I have to finish this so I’ll just work through my lunch/take it home/cancel my day off/use my only free time”
- Messy workspace or home environment – “I know I have stuff everywhere, but I know where things are”
- Unfocused – “I check my social media in case I miss something – I try not to get too distracted from what I’m supposed to be doing”
- Being too available to everyone – “If you need to reach me, then just phone/message/email me and I’ll get right back to you”
Recognise any of these? They can apply to your work or your home life, or perhaps both!
Did you realise that the happiest, most successful people are relaxed and take things in their stride because they have firm boundaries around working time and personal time?
This includes the distinction between work you do in the home (housework, childcare, chores) versus the things you enjoy – the stuff that nurtures you and feels good.
The happiest, most successful people are not constantly busy. They prioritise their time in a healthy way. They don’t stay late at the office and they always take all of their holiday entitlement. They take days off. They enjoy their weekends. They spend evenings at home with their family, making time to relax or socialising, not constantly buried in a laptop, paperwork, their phone or endless chores. They ensure they make time for quality sleep. They make time to eat mindfully – enjoying a meal rather than being engrossed in something else. If this doesn’t sound like you, but you’d like it to be – you now know what you need to do!
If you need help with that, then have a read through some of my previous blogs or get in touch to find out about how you can work with me.
I am Susan Tibbett, a Chartered Psychologist and Personal Development Specialist based in York. You can reach me at http://www.mindmakeoveruk.com
It’s that time of year when many of us look back on the year that has passed and have a quick mental review of what sort of year it was. We all wish each other a ‘Happy New Year’ at the start of January, so how did your year go? Spend a moment now just looking back over the last 12 months of your life and see what your overall feeling is about this year.
Isn’t it strange how when we do this we tend to focus on the things that went wrong, were really bad, or disappointing? I noticed myself doing this, which prompted me to write this blog.
For many, this has been a particularly challenging year as things have shifted on the world stage. Perhaps you have experienced #anger, #anxiety or even #depression. Add in any personal, financial or emotional challenges and your review may be teetering on the edge of that negativity cliff! We all have this negativity bias as part of our human nature and it helps us to watch out for threats or danger in our everyday lives. However, we can become too focussed on what went wrong and fail to notice what went right! It is easy to become blinkered to the good stuff. So, I decided to write a list of the things that made it a good year…..
- Love and support from close family
- Good friends
- Opportunities for meeting new people who enrich life
- Exercise to feel good and improve health
- Getting out in nature
- Regular, healthy meals
- Time to rest and recuperate
- Helping others
- Enjoying hobbies
- Learning from a new challenge
The good news is that there are many more than 10 things on this list – this list goes on. So, my new view overall is – that was actually a great year full of challenges and opportunities that stretched old ways of thinking, increased learning and therefore enriched life! If you are feeling down about the last year perhaps your focus is in the wrong place. Take a step back and shift your focus onto what went well. What did you learn? How did you grow and develop emotionally? If you find this difficult, the easiest way to start is to think about what you can be grateful for this year – perhaps things, surroundings or people you have taken for granted? Get started now. I wonder how many you can write on your list?
I am Susan Tibbett, a Chartered Psychologist and Personal Development Specialist based in York. You can reach me at: http://www.mindmakeoveruk.com
This is a little Amaretti biscuit. I like one with my morning coffee sometimes. It’s just a little thing but it makes me happy. I take tiny bites to make the sugary, almond delight last longer.
Being grateful for such small things feels good. I appreciate this little taste of luxury. Did you know that practising gratitude can make you happier? I regularly encourage my clients who are experiencing problems with low mood to make a note of the things they are grateful for.
Every day, pause and notice at least 3 things that you perhaps take for granted, but you are grateful for. For some, it is the smiling faces of their children, for others the unexpected sunshine, or seeing a beautiful flower or tree. For many people life is tough and every day is a struggle. Perhaps feeling thankful is far from the way you feel about your life? Even in difficult circumstances there is always something to be grateful for – fresh, clean water when you turn on a tap, the fact that you are here breathing and living when others without choice are not, the ability to read these words. Search and there is something.
So allow yourself to experience that feeling of gratitude. Try it out. Even if it’s just for a little thing – it makes you feel good.
I am Susan Tibbett, a Chartered Psychologist, Hypnotherapist and Psychotherapy practitioner based in York. You can find out more about my work and how I can help you at: http://www.mindmakeoveruk.com
Sometimes I like those positivity memes we see scattered around the Internet and social media and I’ve even shared a few myself. However, the relentless message that you just need to be happy, or think positively, can be very frustrating -especially if you are really struggling with mental health problems right now.
Sometimes someone just needs you to sit and listen, to be there with them and acknowledge their difficulties. They may not be ready to see the bright side yet and seeing these supposedly uplifting comments, memes and quotations actually makes them feel worse, more of a failure, and wonder why they aren’t coping. This listening and sharing the shadows for a while, before encouraging someone to move forward, can be difficult, especially when it’s someone you love who is struggling.
As a professional therapist it’s my job to be that listening person. This week, I’ve spent several hours walking alongside people in the midst of their struggles. It’s my job to judge what approach is appropriate and when the time is right to support and gently guide someone to move forward along a new path.
If you are finding it difficult to support a loved one, you are not alone. I can provide efficient and effective help. I can help you to understand what is happening and how best to change things. As a psychologist, I have the knowledge and skills you need. As a hypnotherapist, EMDR and BWRT practitioner I have the techniques that will help. As a therapist I care about restoring your well being and it is a privilege to be asked to help you.
I can be reached via my website at www.mindmakeoveruk.com
I’d be interested to hear your thoughts on positive quotations and memes – helpful or frustrating?