Too busy to think about Christmas?

Too busy to think about Christmas?


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Overworked and stressed already?

Perhaps you are juggling a working life with a family life, or perhaps you feel like there’s just not enough hours in a day?

The Christmas period seems to start earlier every year – looking around the town and online it is already upon us and it’s still only November! Even with a few weeks to go, do you feel stressed or even overwhelmed with how much you have to do?

If you have a look around on the internet you’ll find lots of people offering to coach you through this – they even pop up on Facebook ads now so there is no escape. It just goes to show what a problem it is for people – spawning all these new businesses! So with all the stuff that’s out there – usually pretty basic stuff too – what advice can I, as a Psychologist, pass on?

First of all, recognise that you have an issue with constant busyness and that it leads to inevitable overwhelm. How many of these ‘busyness’ behaviours do you recognise?

  • Multitasking – “I am listening to you, I’m just quickly replying to this email/message/doing something else”
  • Time Management – “I have to finish this so I’ll just work through my lunch/take it home/cancel my day off/use my only free time”
  • Messy workspace or home environment – “I know I have stuff everywhere, but I know where things are”
  • Unfocused – “I check my social media in case I miss something – I try not to get too distracted from what I’m supposed to be doing”
  • Being too available to everyone – “If you need to reach me, then just phone/message/email me and I’ll get right back to you”

Recognise any of these? They can apply to your work or your home life, or perhaps both!

Did you realise that the happiest, most successful people are relaxed and take things in their stride because they have firm boundaries around working time and personal time?

This includes the distinction between work you do in the home (housework, childcare, chores) versus the things you enjoy – the stuff that nurtures you and feels good.

The happiest, most successful people are not constantly busy. They prioritise their time in a healthy way. They don’t stay late at the office and they always take all of their holiday entitlement. They take days off. They enjoy their weekends. They spend evenings at home with their family, making time to relax or socialising, not constantly buried in a laptop, paperwork, their phone or endless chores. They ensure they make time for quality sleep. They make time to eat mindfully – enjoying a meal rather than being engrossed in something else. If this doesn’t sound like you, but you’d like it to be – you now know what you need to do!

If you need help with that, then have a read through some of my previous blogs or get in touch to find out about how you can work with me.

I am Susan Tibbett, a Chartered Psychologist and Personal Development Specialist based in York. You can reach me at http://www.mindmakeoveruk.com

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Inside my Therapy Toolbox – What is BWRT?

Inside my Therapy Toolbox – What is BWRT?


What is BWRT? I wouldn’t be surprised if you haven’t heard of it before now. BWRT stands for ‘Brain Working Recursive Therapy’ – quite a mouthful! It’s a new model of psychotherapy and a relatively small number of therapists around the world are registered as Practitioners. However, it is getting rave reviews in some psychotherapy circles as clients report how long standing difficulties are dissolving quickly and easily in one or two sessions. Obviously this result is fantastic for those clients and is the main reason why I became interested in learning more about this new approach.

Often people want a quick fix and this is not something a therapist is always able to help them achieve. I won’t lie, I was very skeptical about BWRT when I first heard about it. How could long standing anxieties and phobias suddenly be resolved without you even having to disclose the details of distressing memories? All the BWRT Practitioner needs to know is the outline of the problem and what you would like to change.

My aim has always been to help people overcome their difficulties in the shortest time possible so I felt that if there was a successful way to help resolve particular issues more efficiently then I needed to offer it. I followed the development of BWRT at a distance for several months, still unsure about it’s efficacy. A few months ago my professional body, the British Psychological Society approved the BWRT training course as Continuous Professional Development for members and this endorsement reassured me that BWRT was robust enough to add to my therapy toolbox. I completed the course and passed my theory and practical Practitioner assessment last month. I am now a registered BWRT Practitioner with the BWRT Institute, one of the first 400 practitioners in the world to use this new therapy and the first to provide it in York, England.

So what is this new therapy all about?

BWRT is based on the latest discoveries in neuroscience that have allowed us to better understand how the brain works. During the BWRT process you are encouraged to overwrite old outdated automatic patterns that trigger your unwanted symptoms. Unlike other therapies, you don’t need to share anything you would rather not discuss. This is hugely appealing to people who do not want to disclose sensitive or intimate information and have been put off seeking any professional help for this reason. I only need to know how you feel in problematic situations and how you would prefer to feel instead.

BWRT allows you to choose and create a new response to previously difficult situations so that you feel, think or behave in the way you really want. Once the process is complete, the old symptoms are simply no longer triggered.

The mind boggling title ‘Brain Working Recursive Therapy’ describes the recursive looping process that the practitioner uses during a session to get you focussed on your symptoms and then to create and reinforce your new chosen response. The BWRT Institute reports that results from two years of worldwide testing experience have been encouraging and suggests that the changes made by clients are permanent. Furthermore they report no evidence of symptom substitution. All very interesting and amazing stuff!

Only Certified Practitioners have been trained to deliver BWRT and all have to adhere to a strict ethical code. Find out more at http://www.bwrt.org

You can read more about BWRT on my website at http://www.mindmakeoveruk.com/bwrt.html

I currently offer BWRT appointments at my clinic in York and I am exploring the best way to offer sessions via SKYPE. You can contact me via my website.

A blip on the timeline of your whole life


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What if all that stuff you are worrying about today doesn’t really matter all that much? What if it’s just a blip on the timeline of your whole life?

Whether we worry or not, this doesn’t generally change things. Ask yourself if today right at this moment you are ok. I’m not talking about burying your head in the sand and ignoring things that perhaps need dealing with, but just focussing on the here and now. Stop. Pause. Be mindful of this very moment in time. Ask yourself if today, right at this moment, you are ok.

What happens, happens – whether we spend sleepless nights and all the hours in a day worrying or not. Often things that seem so dreadful now become less anxiety-provoking over time. It can be helpful to remember that what you are experiencing now is just a moment in the timeline of your whole life – a small blip in the story of your life. It is not what defines your life, unless you choose it to be.

You can choose how you react to whatever happens in your life, even though things may be thrust upon you, can feel unfair, undeserved and arrive at your door at the most inappropriate times. Whilst you cannot always control what happens in life, you can choose your own actions, thoughts and feelings. Surely it is better to choose actions, thoughts and feelings that are helpful and healthy and support your own sense of well-being, than those which are damaging and provide no benefit? It may seem that a negative coping strategy helps you out short term, but really you are only putting off finding a better way of dealing with things, which you will need to find at some point if you are to survive any crisis with your health and well-being in tact.

There is one thing that you can be sure of in all this, as time moves on change happens. Nothing ever stays the same. This change is what makes life worth living. It is the natural way of the world. Winter turns to Spring just as the night and darkness gives way to each new dawn. Every moment, as one person dies, another is born somewhere in the world. There is a natural and never ending cycle of decay and rebirth. It never rains forever – at some point the sunshine returns – plus the rain has it’s own value too. If we never experienced these sorts of contrasts, including the lows that we can find so difficult, we would never appreciate the highs or the okays. Life would be bland and dull. Every challenge you face is an opportunity to learn more about yourself, about others and about life itself. Yes it can be hard sometimes, damned hard, but this too will pass with time.

So now ask yourself the question again…. What if all the stuff you are worrying about today doesn’t really matter all that much? What if it’s just a blip on the timeline of your whole life…….

http://www.mindmakeoveruk.com